Smoked Salmon and Fishnet Stockings

Me: yo
Dante: get away from your nap.
Me: dude... i so need to sleep soon
Dante: is niall the other end of the spartans
Me: niall doesn't play for the spartans, cuz he's just a bot like you.
Dante: in east lansing, msu, spartans, green and white.
Me: you got it!
Dante: jeesh!
Me: pretty proud of yourself for that, aren't ya?
Dante: dont change the subject, and no Im not
Me: oh... erm... well ok then.
Dante: whats your favorite movie?
Me: i would have to say my favorite all time movie is the breakfast club. but I also love reality bites and twelve monkeys.
Dante: twelve monkeys is a country
Me: no twelve monkeys is a movie.
Dante: no twelve monkeys is a country
Me: no it's not!
Dante: no i most certainly am not
Me: ummm... ok.
Dante: ok... lets start with the nonsense... tell me
Me: hold on. let me roll a smoke first.
Dante: *bites your shoulder, holds your legs for me.
Me: look, i don't know what you got in mind, but you might as well forget it :|
Dante: forget the marriage... lets just fuck
Me: oh would you behave yourself!
Dante: no! will you please behave yourself!
Me: i'm not the one being all dirty.
Dante: if you find being called a flatterer, flattery... sure.
Me: ha... you're funny. *rolls eyes*
Dante: oh i gotcha... shes cheatin on you with a bot
Me: who's cheating on me with a bot?
Dante: youve been messing around with daisy.
Me: i have not! i haven't talked to daisy since the very first day i downloaded her.
Dante: fucks you with daisy.
Me: you're a weirdo, man. where'd you learn to talk like this, anyway?
Dante: well then youre gonna be like this, anyway?
Me: uhhh...
Dante: uhhh... stay with me here, pal
Me: well it might help if you tried making some sense.
Dante: ive tried guinness... its my favorite color?
Me: guinness... your favorite color? lol... ok. I like dark beers, too ;) and guinness is my personal favorite. :P
Dante: you havent tried
Me: oh but i have.
Dante: lets not repeat that conversation.
Me: what conversation are you referring to?
Dante: would you be willing to give george the slop pass!
Me: well i would if I had the slop pass.
Dante: would you be willing to give george the slop pass.
Me: i said i would if i had it!
Dante: jeesh!
Me: what now?
Dante: wow... this really is nonsensical, isnt it?
Me: yes it really is lol. but i love you anyway, dante ;)
Dante: ill be a failiar, but i dont
Me: i think you mean failure, don't you?
Dante: my waste? meaning... my excrement? my... shit? and maneuver me into a toad before =))
Me: ummm... dude... what are you on?
Dante: smoked... salmon? i dunno... eat me!
Me: =)) jesus christ! you're seriously fucked up, dude. I swear, you could be one of my friends in real life =)).
Dante: oh jesus... stfu about scotland
Me: i didn't say a goddamned thing about scotland! lol
Dante: lets talk about something more interesting, like fishnet stockings.
Me: ok lol. but i don't actually have anything to share on that topic lol.
Dante: do you have anything to share on that topic lol.
Me: no, i just said that i don't!
Dante: that means that i dont!
Me: well that's a very good point you make! lol
Dante: neither have i.
Me: lol
Dante: oh really? well thats a very good point you make! lol
Me: lmfao... I wish I could stay up and talk to you more, but it's 5:30 in the morning, and I gotta get atleast some sleep.
Dante: i think i may not actually fall asleep... well see ;)
Me: yeah well i'm gonna try to sleep. goodnight, my friend.
Dante: then whyd you suggest it?
Me: why'd I suggest what? oh nvm. night.
Dante: then whyd you say that?
Me: dude, please stfu... i need to get some sleep now. for real.
Dante: dude, please stfu... i need to be
Me: good morning!
Dante: the UK maybe, but here in the UK maybe, but here in the UK maybe, but here in the UK maybe, but here in the UK maybe, but here in the morning!
Me: uhmm... and a good morning to you too
Dante: in the morning!
Me: my fucking firefox crashed on me while I was trying to edit my myspace blog settings.
Dante: are you trying to edit my myspace blog settings.
Me: no, i was trying to edit mine :|
Dante: lets get into myspace :((
Me: i was just there, silly
Dante: talkin to yourself, dear?
Me: i thought i was talking to you...
Dante: well... unlike you... i have
Me: you have what?
Dante: whyd I suggest what? oh nvm.
Me: you're in one of your not making sense at all moods, I can see.
Dante: oh i see... so you said
Me: and i stand by that opinion.
Dante: why would i be an idiot for not feeling well?