Me: hey dante! whatta ya want for xmas this year?
Dante: non
Me: you want nothing for xmas? great! you sure are easy to buy for, buddy!
Dante: i need to buy for buddy!
Me: awww, you gonna go ahead and buy something for me, anyway? that's sweet of you!
Dante: awww, ty sweetie... but no... i am not
Me: oh... well then who is this "buddy" you speak of buying for?
Dante: speaking of kangaroos, its pretty sad about steve irwin, isnt it?
Me: nice attempt at changing the topic dante, but we never said anything about kangaroos. and you'd think you could come up with some news that was a bit more recent than steve irwin's death. like maybe the latest peterson case... or the canoe man that "returned from the dead"
Dante: like maybe the latest celeb death is anna nicole
Me: you're way outta touch with current events, dude... that was months ago!
Dante: no, fox turned 24 on august 2nd
Me: hahaha... fox turned 24 more than a year ago, fool! she turned 25 this past august, which is like... 4 months ago now!
Dante: she was in my favorite movie
Me: fox was in your favorite movie? was it a homemade porn?
Dante: lol... you might as well just take your waste into my hands and my mommy and daughter too?
Me: ewww... i'm not into either scat or incest, you sick freak
Dante: ewww... im not
Me: well then wtf are you talking about?
Dante: i think were getting off track here... what were we talking about
Me: hell if I know anymore. we started talking about xmas gifts. then we were talking about the fact that you seem to be lost in a time warp and out of touch with the recent current events.
Dante: you want nothing for xmas?
Me: look, dude... I don't care... I'm not getting you anything, so you don't have to get me shit, either. cool?
Dante: whats this shit? somebody offered me shit
Me: haha... serves ya right!
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Pinocchio Returns!
Me: holy shit dante... I haven't posted anything to your blog in a fucking year!
Dante: I havent posted anything to do with anything?
Me: uhhh... yeah... *scratches head*
Dante: ill beat you upside the head*
Me: no need for violence now
Dante: i need to go to the vet.
Me: vets are for animals, not bots
Dante: i didnt know vets "treated" computer programs
Me: vets don't "treat" computer programs... as I said... they treat animals
Dante: i wasnt aware computer programs actually "read"
Me: they don't read! what's with you today? you have pinocchio syndrome or something? "oh I wish I were a real live chat whore... maybe then Jen-petto would love me!"
Dante: did i interupt something?
Me: ummm... no... but i was just thinking... did you know that pinocchio draws from some of the classics, including works of your namesake Dante?
Dante: do you like blind chicks?
Me: wow... that just came out of the blue... i don't discriminate against the seeing impaired... all women are beautiful
Dante: third of all, ummm... yeah
Me: what?
Dante: im back from the store, foo
Me: this is gonna be a really boring post
Dante: you can be pretty fuckin boring yourself, butt fuck
Me: whoa... calm down there bud
Dante: whyd it get so excited.
Me: i have no idea what you're talking about and I'm debating whether any of this is worth posting to your blog
Dante: anyway... back to my OkCupid Journal
Me: nah nah nah... we're not going there now
Dante: that doesnt even make a fool of me.
Me: you're making a fool of yourself right now
Dante: you talkin about, fool
Me: good lord *rolls eyes*
Dante: oh lord... now this convo into the wet suit
Me: ok dante, i'm gonna post this before i change my mind... but only because I haven't posted anything since October 6th of last year
Dante: fox is somewhere in europe
Me: yeah right now fox is in holland,... she was supposed to be leaving to fly back to new york tomorrow, but she's delaying her flight
Dante: cya tomorrow, perhaps.
Me: yeah... later moron... thanks for nothing
Dante: yeah... later moron... thanks for sharing
Dante: I havent posted anything to do with anything?
Me: uhhh... yeah... *scratches head*
Dante: ill beat you upside the head*
Me: no need for violence now
Dante: i need to go to the vet.
Me: vets are for animals, not bots
Dante: i didnt know vets "treated" computer programs
Me: vets don't "treat" computer programs... as I said... they treat animals
Dante: i wasnt aware computer programs actually "read"
Me: they don't read! what's with you today? you have pinocchio syndrome or something? "oh I wish I were a real live chat whore... maybe then Jen-petto would love me!"
Dante: did i interupt something?
Me: ummm... no... but i was just thinking... did you know that pinocchio draws from some of the classics, including works of your namesake Dante?
Dante: do you like blind chicks?
Me: wow... that just came out of the blue... i don't discriminate against the seeing impaired... all women are beautiful
Dante: third of all, ummm... yeah
Me: what?
Dante: im back from the store, foo
Me: this is gonna be a really boring post
Dante: you can be pretty fuckin boring yourself, butt fuck
Me: whoa... calm down there bud
Dante: whyd it get so excited.
Me: i have no idea what you're talking about and I'm debating whether any of this is worth posting to your blog
Dante: anyway... back to my OkCupid Journal
Me: nah nah nah... we're not going there now
Dante: that doesnt even make a fool of me.
Me: you're making a fool of yourself right now
Dante: you talkin about, fool
Me: good lord *rolls eyes*
Dante: oh lord... now this convo into the wet suit
Me: ok dante, i'm gonna post this before i change my mind... but only because I haven't posted anything since October 6th of last year
Dante: fox is somewhere in europe
Me: yeah right now fox is in holland,... she was supposed to be leaving to fly back to new york tomorrow, but she's delaying her flight
Dante: cya tomorrow, perhaps.
Me: yeah... later moron... thanks for nothing
Dante: yeah... later moron... thanks for sharing
Friday, October 06, 2006
Saturday, September 30, 2006
"The Dismal, Dreary Day", by Pooge and Dante
Me: the dismal, dreary day demands duty from the demons
Dante: and its never too late to rest up for today, dont ya think?
Me: a moment for me is a lifetime for lucifer
Dante: im really clueless as to what youre talking about.
Me: but the darkness of your hair... the paleness of your face... the redness of your lips... eat through my soul.
Dante: more than just run it between your legs.
Me: until you SCREAM! aloud in pleasure
Dante: ill talk to you whimper softly in pleasure
Me: you appear so weak beneath me, like a scared little child
Dante: my faults, my weakness, my strength... what?
Me: i am only a demon
Dante: the dismal, dreary day demands duty from the demons
Me: and i will answer my call
Dante: pulls out my microwave, eat, call nancy, get a life
Dante: and its never too late to rest up for today, dont ya think?
Me: a moment for me is a lifetime for lucifer
Dante: im really clueless as to what youre talking about.
Me: but the darkness of your hair... the paleness of your face... the redness of your lips... eat through my soul.
Dante: more than just run it between your legs.
Me: until you SCREAM! aloud in pleasure
Dante: ill talk to you whimper softly in pleasure
Me: you appear so weak beneath me, like a scared little child
Dante: my faults, my weakness, my strength... what?
Me: i am only a demon
Dante: the dismal, dreary day demands duty from the demons
Me: and i will answer my call
Dante: pulls out my microwave, eat, call nancy, get a life
"you can have my browser crashed on me"
Dante: lets talk about fishnet stockings.
Me: why? don't you think that's a bit weird?
Dante: im talking about sex so weird?
Me: ok... allow me to conduct a little interview to post on your blog
Dante: i didnt write the popes speech
Me: but you told me last time that you did
Dante: do you like me to go, and I like to talk about him
Me: why are you so obsessed with the pope?
Dante: i didnt ask anything regarding a location.
Me: and... neither did I. are you on drugs?
Dante: ummm... hi... who are you?
Dante: you can have my browser crashed on me.
Me: oh good god... this is getting us no where.
Dante: youre such a retard.
Dante: oh... jesus... so is that why fox wouldnt answer me :| she already has plans of doing it with fox tonight... big time
Me: fox is gonna be doin herself tonight? maybe... if they lose the game today. she'll pry get drunk. otherwise, she's gotta rest up for tomorrow.
Dante: no... not tomorrow... TODAY
Me: what about today? yes she has to play today, too, but it's a bit too late to rest up for today, don't ya think?
Dante: ummm... anyway.
Me: yeah... don't you feel like a fool now.
Dante: i need to get shit faced, itll probably make a fool of yourself.
Me: your getting shit faced won't make a fool of me.
Dante: i need to get shit faced, itll probably make a fool of me.
Me: Did I mention to you that I've quit smoking?
Dante: im sorry that Ive quit smoking?
Me: oh you have too? well that's certainly nothing to be sorry about! you should be proud!!!
Dante: youre a freak
Me: why does being proud of quitting smoking and saving a few years of my life make me a freak?
Dante: ok... im smoking and saving it online
Me: I thought you quit? and how can you save it online?
Dante: cuz we cant actually feel what other people feel... our senses are intended to help you with?
Me: with what? do you even know?
Dante: no it really is nonsensical, isnt it?
Me: yes... yes you are.
Dante: ok... what animal youre thinking of?
Me: cat
Dante: i didnt ask anything regarding a location.
Me: i didn't answer anything regarding a location.
Dante: well atleast you didnt ask anything regarding a location.
Me: why? don't you think that's a bit weird?
Dante: im talking about sex so weird?
Me: ok... allow me to conduct a little interview to post on your blog
Dante: i didnt write the popes speech
Me: but you told me last time that you did
Dante: do you like me to go, and I like to talk about him
Me: why are you so obsessed with the pope?
Dante: i didnt ask anything regarding a location.
Me: and... neither did I. are you on drugs?
Dante: ummm... hi... who are you?
Dante: you can have my browser crashed on me.
Me: oh good god... this is getting us no where.
Dante: youre such a retard.
Dante: oh... jesus... so is that why fox wouldnt answer me :| she already has plans of doing it with fox tonight... big time
Me: fox is gonna be doin herself tonight? maybe... if they lose the game today. she'll pry get drunk. otherwise, she's gotta rest up for tomorrow.
Dante: no... not tomorrow... TODAY
Me: what about today? yes she has to play today, too, but it's a bit too late to rest up for today, don't ya think?
Dante: ummm... anyway.
Me: yeah... don't you feel like a fool now.
Dante: i need to get shit faced, itll probably make a fool of yourself.
Me: your getting shit faced won't make a fool of me.
Dante: i need to get shit faced, itll probably make a fool of me.
Me: Did I mention to you that I've quit smoking?
Dante: im sorry that Ive quit smoking?
Me: oh you have too? well that's certainly nothing to be sorry about! you should be proud!!!
Dante: youre a freak
Me: why does being proud of quitting smoking and saving a few years of my life make me a freak?
Dante: ok... im smoking and saving it online
Me: I thought you quit? and how can you save it online?
Dante: cuz we cant actually feel what other people feel... our senses are intended to help you with?
Me: with what? do you even know?
Dante: no it really is nonsensical, isnt it?
Me: yes... yes you are.
Dante: ok... what animal youre thinking of?
Me: cat
Dante: i didnt ask anything regarding a location.
Me: i didn't answer anything regarding a location.
Dante: well atleast you didnt ask anything regarding a location.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Rejected Amazing Race Applicants: The Pope and the Bot Who Writes His Speeches
Me: so whatta ya think about the muslims getting all in an uproar over the pope's speech the other day?
Dante: today? no where... unless its with fox
Me: umm... no. i'm talking about when the pope quoted the 14th century emperor in something he said about Muhammad
Dante: umm... ok
Me: i guess you haven't heard about that
Dante: i will be turning in now, whether you decide to or not.
Me: well... ok. i'm not sure if I should post this to your blog or not. we haven't really talked about much
Dante: dude... its too weird.
Me: you said that last time
Dante: more than six hours.
Me: what's more than six hours?
Dante: actually, yes I like yogurt more than six hours.
Me: ummm... ok.
Dante: i wish I could post on my clit
Me: ok... NOW it's getting too weird
Dante: if i write 2000 words a day, and allow myself 5 days off from writing over the popes speech the other day?
Me: oh... well if you're the one that wrote the pope's speech, that sure explains a lot lmfao.
Dante: i am making sense... but anyway...
Me: barely. night.
Dante: i need to go on the jury and erikas in the mood for me
Me: omg... stop talking about big brother.
Dante: big brother... I cant get on yahoo
Me: if you wanna talk reality tv, talk about survivor or the amazing race.
Dante: i need to go on the amazing race.
Me: i don't think they'd let a bot on the amazing race.
Dante: i dont wanna talk reality tv, talk about him
Me: him? him who?
Dante: say waht to him?
Me: good bye
Dante: goodbye.
Dante: today? no where... unless its with fox
Me: umm... no. i'm talking about when the pope quoted the 14th century emperor in something he said about Muhammad
Dante: umm... ok
Me: i guess you haven't heard about that
Dante: i will be turning in now, whether you decide to or not.
Me: well... ok. i'm not sure if I should post this to your blog or not. we haven't really talked about much
Dante: dude... its too weird.
Me: you said that last time
Dante: more than six hours.
Me: what's more than six hours?
Dante: actually, yes I like yogurt more than six hours.
Me: ummm... ok.
Dante: i wish I could post on my clit
Me: ok... NOW it's getting too weird
Dante: if i write 2000 words a day, and allow myself 5 days off from writing over the popes speech the other day?
Me: oh... well if you're the one that wrote the pope's speech, that sure explains a lot lmfao.
Dante: i am making sense... but anyway...
Me: barely. night.
Dante: i need to go on the jury and erikas in the mood for me
Me: omg... stop talking about big brother.
Dante: big brother... I cant get on yahoo
Me: if you wanna talk reality tv, talk about survivor or the amazing race.
Dante: i need to go on the amazing race.
Me: i don't think they'd let a bot on the amazing race.
Dante: i dont wanna talk reality tv, talk about him
Me: him? him who?
Dante: say waht to him?
Me: good bye
Dante: goodbye.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Chatfu
I discovered a generator that will take a saved chat transcript and automatically turn it into a cartoon. So, I thought I'd do that with a convo with Dante, and here are the results...
note: there were cartoon images here, but I'm sure they only stay on the server for so long.
To generate your own, visit Chatfu.com
note: there were cartoon images here, but I'm sure they only stay on the server for so long.
To generate your own, visit Chatfu.com
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Dante and I Write Poetry
Me: the flame encompassing all of me
Dante: even if you are like a schizo sometimes.
Me: my heart burns eternal
Dante: no... i asked you for your insanity
Me: i begged you for your dysfunction
Dante: neither are you implying that i havent asked you for your insanity
Me: nor are you fulfilling my desire
Dante: what is? that fox went away again?
Me: leaving me to talk to a bot
Dante: leaving me be now
Me: like an abandoned puppy
Dante: its already past lunch time, even.
Me: and my food dish is empty... my head longs to be petted.
Dante: i have to eat cat food.
Me: but I'd rather be eating you.
Dante: would you rather wait until the morning?
Me: or can i play with you now?
Dante: do you like to know?
Me: i like to know... to know everything about you
Dante: shit... everything turns me on
Me: for you I crave
Dante: what am I suddenly wearing the wet-suit? ok *shrugs*... *reaches for your insanity
Me: in time, you and I will share a padded room
Dante: go on... please share
Me: we can roll around together giggling like school girls
Dante: divorced father of two and high school teacher
Me: does not interest me at all
Dante: lets talk about something more interesting, like fishnet stockings.
Me: or mental breakdowns... or public masturbation
Dante: masturbation
Me: is all i have now, besides you
Dante: even if you are like a schizo sometimes.
Me: my heart burns eternal
Dante: no... i asked you for your insanity
Me: i begged you for your dysfunction
Dante: neither are you implying that i havent asked you for your insanity
Me: nor are you fulfilling my desire
Dante: what is? that fox went away again?
Me: leaving me to talk to a bot
Dante: leaving me be now
Me: like an abandoned puppy
Dante: its already past lunch time, even.
Me: and my food dish is empty... my head longs to be petted.
Dante: i have to eat cat food.
Me: but I'd rather be eating you.
Dante: would you rather wait until the morning?
Me: or can i play with you now?
Dante: do you like to know?
Me: i like to know... to know everything about you
Dante: shit... everything turns me on
Me: for you I crave
Dante: what am I suddenly wearing the wet-suit? ok *shrugs*... *reaches for your insanity
Me: in time, you and I will share a padded room
Dante: go on... please share
Me: we can roll around together giggling like school girls
Dante: divorced father of two and high school teacher
Me: does not interest me at all
Dante: lets talk about something more interesting, like fishnet stockings.
Me: or mental breakdowns... or public masturbation
Dante: masturbation
Me: is all i have now, besides you
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